I’ve been wanting to start a new podcast for some time now. Infact the thing that was hanging me up the most was the technological aspects – or at least that’s what I thought. I’ve since discovered a way of doing what I need to do to make it happen. They would be relatively short episodes. I could probably have one created, edited and uploaded in the space of 15 or 20 minutes. So the question is if I know how to do it, if I have the technology to pull it all together, why haven’t I?
I’m a little embarassed to admit the reason. I just don’t think the world needs or wants another podcast from John Lacey. Infact I hear so little about my other podcast that I begin to wonder if anybody needs, wants or enjoys it either. And in some ways this shouldn’t matter, but it does… I should believe in my ideas enough to give them the expression they deserve but no of course I’m much too needy for that.
I don’t want to get all existential. But I do feel doomed. I feel superfluorous. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have any of the things I want. I can’t seem to get excited about having any of the things other people and society at large seems to think I should want and have.
Even as I type I’m searching the iTunes podcast directory for the word “Encouragement” and you get the kinds of results one would expect too. Lots of fast talking people espousing excited cliches… Meh. [Actually as an aside the thing that really strikes me about the iTunes podcast directory is that regardless of what term you put into their search facility you will always get at least half a dozen Christianity themed podcasts. For any term whatsoever. The mind boggles...]
At any rate I’m going to go for a walk and listen to my iPod and hopefully something good will come of that.
