I haven’t been blogging lately, or doing much of anything to be honest. This is very remiss of me. I’ll try better.
Today I’ve been musing over this song – Sophie B. Hawkins’ The One You Have Not Seen.
And of the dreams inside you, I am the one you have not seen
My thoughts have been preoccupied with the unseen lately. I’ve been strolling through this town looking for some strand of narrative thread that holds this town together, that makes it make some sense. Somehow. Or just looking for some inspiration. I want to create something. But what? That is the dilemma.
I’ve also been reading up at a website titled The Meanings Of Life. To me, in this moment, life has no clear rhyme or reason about it. Meanings where they exist are created (by individuals and traditions), not uncovered. I am without direction and without purpose. I wish there was some cosmic flashing neon sign in the sky telling me where to go and what to do. But that is just me being indecisive and shirking my responsibilities, I suppose. I watch Sunday Arts from time to time with a great sense of envy. I watch artists just have an impulse and they follow it down a rabbit hole of possibilities and just see where they end up. How I long to do that too. I want to be infatuated with a subject matter. I want to develop a discipline. I want to produce and showcase works of some description. I want to be an artist. Is that a lofty aspiration? Lots of people in my life have indicated it is. And yet I remain so desperately unhappy that it seems stupid not to at least try something that might resonate with me, even momentarily.
