Thats It. That’s All There Is.
I had a bit of an emotional meltdown yesterday. It culminated in a car vlog – yes, remember those! – at 10pm last night. Something somebody said struck a cord with me and I couldn’t continue on the path I was headed. I suppose I knew long before then that I couldn’t continue; but it was a possibility I wasn’t then prepared to explore.
The truth is I reached a point where I had to make a decision. Whether I was going to choose somebody who had no interest in me, or whether I was going to choose myself. This morning I chose myself. This morning I decided I am all I have and if I can’t have the faith to invest in myself, what could I possibly have?
This morning it felt incredibly liberating, this line in the sand I have drawn. But later in the day it started to feel scary. The truth is I know I have made the right decision. I realise I have made the only decision I could make. And in a funny way for the first time in a long time I feel like I’m going to be okay.
Tomorrow I will pick up the pieces of my life and move on. Today, however, I intend to mourn a little, say goodbye to ideas in my head, and sleep a lot. It’ll be okay. Is it strange that I want to go listen to Joan Baez singing “We Shall Overcome” at this junction?
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