Can you create your life? How much do you control your lifestyle and how much of it just ‘happens’ to you?

I guess I believe you can because I know people who lead amazingly interesting and rewarding lives. (I confess I frequently watch Sunday Arts with envy because it always showcases talented artists who are doing what they love and somehow deriving success and income from that…)

I know I’ve written about this in religious terms before (predestination versus free will), but I wanted to think about it more practically. I pulled out my notebook and wondered if I could have my life the way I wanted, what would that look like?

I identified the following desires:

• The desire to be creative. There are things I want to do and other things I want to do more frequently. And I want to learn, I want to study… I want supportive teachers and mentors.
• The desire to be social. I’m lonely. I think my trip to Brisbane made me appreciate just how lonely. I am connected with the world and I can have great conversations and exchange ideas with lots of people at any hour of the day or night, but I still have no one here I can grab a cup of coffee with.
• The desire for independence and freedom and distance. I don’t feel like I can be myself here. I am too busy fulfilling roles within different contexts.
• The desire of companionship. This differs from the social desire mentioned earlier in the sense that here I am referring an intimate companion, a lover, a partner…

There were a lot of other things on the notebook page too about scheduling (my Sunday afternoon coffee ritual, for example) and specific things I want (video camera, my own apartment).

I guess the next step is building towards those things… somehow.