“Playing Giana Sisters keeps me young!” I was sure I was being flippant when I said it, but afterward I wasn’t so sure. Perhaps I do have a bit of a Peter Pan complex? I mean I quit my “day job” to play computer games and write articles for online publications. I spend most of my time talking to my friends (many of whom are almost ten years younger than I am). I bought Dunlop Volleys for the first time as a twenty five year old.

The truth is I was in a real hurry to ‘grow up.’ I stopped reading fiction at a very young age, convinced at the time I should pour all my energy into reading things that would help ‘my career.’ Primarily computer programming books. I really did spend all my time either writing or reading or programming. I was a nerd. I still am a nerd, I confess. I love Giana Sisters because, honestly, it was my favourite game as a kid. A true Commodore 64 classic. It is pure nostalgia.

I was a really serious, uptight kid too. And if I’m being honest I still am a fairly serious, uptight person. Younger people know things about fun that I, in my rush to ‘grow up,’ never took the time to learn. Just by hanging around them I get a new lease on life.

But by the same token there are other things from my earlier, more serious, life that I need to draw on now too. Like discipline and dedication. I have several projects that require my attention right now or they won’t get done. The truth is some days it is too easy to be distracted. And I haven’t been helped this week by inexplicable sleeping patterns and illness. So now more than ever I need to stop and focus and regroup.

I am excited about these projects. But also a little unnerved. I’ve envisaged some of these things for a really long time and now they are finally coming together. I sent several e-mails to perspective collaborators and was actually shocked to see they were interested. I got a little scared when they did accept. That sounds ridiculous; indeed it feels that way too. I had a friend who long suspected she had a fear of success. At the time the idea seemed ridiculous, but within the last few days I think I finally understand what she meant.

I won’t be defeated, though. In fact I have always worked well within small frameworks of time. This is exciting. Stick with me. All will be revealed in time.

Wasn’t I a cute kid?