I was really happy. Firstly because it meant I wasn’t going to miss out on the festivities altogether. But more than that because I was getting to hang out with my peeps rather than the whole of YouTube Australia. I had met most of these people before so we could totally bypass the initial awkwardness of the ‘getting to know you’ phase and revel in the, well, revelry.

I spent Thursday frequenting coffee shops mostly (Gloria Jeans, Starbucks) with Leuke, Mitto, Rohan, Rob and Chris. We swung by a comic book store. We waited for the posse to check into their hostel. We acted silly around Darling Harbour. We didn’t really do very much at all. We didn’t have to! We were just chilling, hanging out, and various other synonyms for the act of simply being in each other’s company.

After the boys checked into their hostel room, Leuke presented us all with gifts from that great island nation of Tasmania. (Okay, obviously it’s not an island nation – it’s just a state of Australia. But saying “state of Australia” just didn’t sound very impressive, now, did it?) There were little trinkets which contained special meaning to each of the recipients. And then he pulled out this gnome. Which gnome? This Gnome. It was Greg! Greg is the subject of a very funny YouTube video which I loved since the first time I had seen it. Many, many gnome jokes followed. And now he was mine! That is so cool.

In honour of Greg’s new home, I gave him his own channel and made him host of Sydney Live (my version of my trip with parody overtones of YouTube’s own recent live event.)

The next day Nick, Loz, Mitchell, Greg (the human; as opposed to the aforementioned Gnome) and Queenie joined us for Yum Cha in Chinatown. Craziness ensued. It was great fun.

After lunch Queenie told me that I was the ‘nicest Aussie’ she had ever met. What a nice thing to say! What really impressed me about this development was that it apparently put me ahead of her own boyfriend, Greg, in the niceness stakes. Yay!

After much walking we ended up at the Apple Store. It was kind of surreal to see so many people who were ‘together’ not really communicating with each other… because suddenly they had computers to look at! There were a few obligatory Apple Store videos recorded (including this one) but by this stage I knew my deadline to be on a train was quickly approaching. I said my goodbyes, posed for a photograph or two, and went on my way. But then something remarkable happened.

Only one person had really expressed disappointment to me before the event that they wouldn’t be able to see me. A young man by the name of Jordan. I told him that it was unfortunate but since he was the closest YouTuber to me, geographically speaking, I’m sure I would see him at another time. Anyway I stepped outside of the Apple store – and there he was, just waiting for a bus. Serendipity in action, surely?

It was so much fun. It was oddly life-affirming. It was amazing to see people in the (sometimes) harsh light of day and in three dimensions! I might not see these people everyday, indeed I am lucky to see them once or twice a year – but I talk to them most days. I talk to Leuke almost every single day. It feels strange if we don’t talk. These people are important to me, these people are an integral part of my life. Or – to borrow a Sarryism – they are VITAL TO MY YOUTUBE EXISTENCE! And yet not merely my YouTube Existence, rather, my existence full stop!

See Also
AusOne Sydney YouTube Gathering (Rohan’s Blog)
A Story Of Great Things (Leuke’s Blog)

Lately I’ve been noticing a lot of deeply concerned people. I confess when the US election proceedings commenced, I expected to see a lot of people talking up the merits of their preferred candidates and party. What I am actually witnessing is a lot of terrified people who are freaking out every time a news article surfaces or a debate takes place. People are scared. It’s not a question – it’s a fact.

Now, please, dear Americans. Please know that I am being completely sincere with the sentiment I offer here. You are a very resilient and resourceful people. You need not be as worried as you are. You have survived eight years of George W. Bush. Hell, you survived having J. Edgar Hoover as the director of the FBI. (Anyone who has seen the X-Files: I Want To Believe movie will recall a telling sequence in which Mulder and Scully wait outside offices within the FBI. Mulder looks at the two photographs on the wall. On one side there is a picture of George W. Bush and on the other there is a picture of J. Edgar Hoover. The familiar X-Files theme plays eerily as we wonder momentarily about the greatest paranormal mystery of all; how do mad men end up with power, anyway?)

On election day you will (if you fit the eligibility criteria) have a single vote. This is wonderful. I implore you to exercise your right to vote. But I also invite you to realise that there are limits to your influence. Once the votes are counted there will be an outcome – and it might not be the one you were hoping for. Obviously I don’t know everyone who happens upon this blog, I don’t know your political affiliations and personal inclinations. But if you have strong feelings for one party or the other, you have the potential to be very happy (or very disappointed) at the outcome.

What I want you to know – regardless of what you think of any of the candidates – is that you need to find a way to be okay with the outcome. I can’t have you jumping out of tall buildings. Seriously. This blog has so few readers – I can’t have any of you dying on me.

Obviously the country – indeed the whole world! – are facing some challenges right now. We keep hearing about the ‘credit crunch’ and the bail out deal.

If I could tell the world just one thing it would be that we’re all o.k. And not to worry cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these.

The point is everyone needs to take a deep breath and not panic. We need to realise money is a form of exchange – and nothing more! We need to realise that there are people out there who will use our fears – real or imagined – for their own personal, economic and political gains. There are already stock market traders doing very nicely at the expense of more fearful, inexperienced traders. Potentially economic uncertainty might be used as political fodder in the same way that communism and, more recently, terrorism have been. If you are in an emotional frenzy you are very easy to manipulate. It is important that you are not reactionary.

Author of The Four Hour Work Week, Tim Ferris recently brought my attention to the 1943 Disney version of Chicken Little. In this version of the childhood tale, Foxy Loxy uses a psychology textbook to mobilise a fearful and reactionary pen of animals – ultimately to their deaths. This is a far cry from the vision of Disney animations we have now. There are no happy endings to be had here. But, perhaps, that makes the tale more meaningful!

If politics is something that is of interest to you, if it is a great passion for you, then by all means pour your time and energy into it. Just know that that rhetoric is a blackhole. You can pour as much of yourself and your energies into it and it will never fill the void. Again, the influence of even the most charismatic speaker has limits.

Scapegoating is great fun. I shudder to imagine what I would do if I didn’t have ABBA and Christianity to blame the woes of the world on. (End joke.) But if you have an obscene amount of personal debt, if you failed to meet a repayments schedule, if you went out and got something on credit you knew you couldn’t afford – NOW is the time to step up and be responsible. Don’t sit there and bemoan the price of petrol or the state of the economy. THIS is where you have an amazing realm of influence. You can’t control everything that happens politically or economically, but you can control your own actions. You CAN be responsible for yourself. If ever there was a time to learn about living within your means, now would be it.

The Department of Treasury have set up a bizarre interactive website, the Bad Credit Hotel. I doubt there is much here people don’t already know intellectually, though a little revision will help you alter your habits and be more mindful of the implications of credit.

I spent the weekend in Sydney. I will have some wonderful things to say about the experience shortly, but this is something else entirely. During my trip a sixteen year old told me that I was “completely asexual” and “the most boring person on the planet.”

Neither of these remarks is really that earth-shattering in isolation. But they bothered me. They bothered me because I genuinely thought this person who had known me for all of two hours had looked me up and down and, fairly accurately, summarised my existence.

For all any one knows or cares, I am asexual. I have not expressed a desire in the longest time. The truth is I would very much like to be asexual. I would like to not be attracted to anyone at all. It would be easier. It would be so much easier. I wouldn’t be carrying around the kind of emotional scar tissue I currently contend with. I don’t want to be hurt again. I say that as if it is in past tense, though it isn’t. I am hurting. There are moments when I want to numb this pain so badly I crave to demonstrate my own mortality. And for all my efforts I can’t ‘resolve’ this. I can’t seem to bring it to any kind of finality. I tried getting distance. I tried building self-esteem. But what does any of it mean? All I ever wanted doesn’t want me. That’s what it all boils down to. I can’t change that. I can’t ‘do’ anything with that. It is what it is, and constant reminders are slowly killing me.

And it is this huge string of association. I cannot think of that without asking the question, why? My mind is eager to supply answers. In short, because I’m not good enough, but why stop there? Also because I’m fat, unattractive, stupid, emo… and, perhaps boring and completely asexual.

The other point seems equally valid; I am boring. I don’t actually do anything at all. I mean we can dress this up in any number of guises. We can say I’m writing blog entries and making videos and working on my own ‘creative recovery,’ but what is it really if not just another opportunity to disengage from society at large and postpone potential rejection… as much from random sixteen year olds as potential employers.

It proved to be much more than merely an account of one man’s detainment. And the love story between Daniel and Shannon unfolds beautifully in front of our eyes. (Eh, what can I say.. it made me feel all warm and fuzzy.)

One thing that Daniel seemed to take exception at after watching the advertisement for the episode was the status he was assigned as a ‘computer geek.’

Computer geek…? It’s an interesting interesting take on my life there. Tune in this is going to be very interesting. And… I tell you what if I’m a computer geek, all of you are computer geeks too. Every single last one of you watching on YouTube are a computer geek… nerds, nerds is what you really are. Just nerds. All of you. I’m not alone. I’m not.

I couldn’t help but agree with him after watching the episode. Even its presenter, Caroline Jones, confessed to not really understanding anything about the internet.

It amused me too because recently there has been much speculation that Vloggerheads might actually be a cult – when, clearly, any type of online activity (including YouTube) is seen as a pecuilar thing by the wider community.

Reading this from an RSS feeder? You might not be getting the full experience.

Related Content:

Re: Computer Geek? [YouTube]

Now his story will hopefully get a broader audience when it is retold on ABC’s Australian Story. The episode will go to air in Australia on Monday 25th August at 8pm on ABC1.

There are no plans at this stage for the episode to be shown internationally, however it will be available to stream online from the show’s website.

I have known Dan (DrLemur) and his sister Heidi (Heidiscope) for some time now, and am delighted to call them both friends. I am sure they would both appreciate your support.

The truth is I reached a point where I had to make a decision. Whether I was going to choose somebody who had no interest in me, or whether I was going to choose myself. This morning I chose myself. This morning I decided I am all I have and if I can’t have the faith to invest in myself, what could I possibly have?

This morning it felt incredibly liberating, this line in the sand I have drawn. But later in the day it started to feel scary. The truth is I know I have made the right decision. I realise I have made the only decision I could make. And in a funny way for the first time in a long time I feel like I’m going to be okay.

Tomorrow I will pick up the pieces of my life and move on. Today, however, I intend to mourn a little, say goodbye to ideas in my head, and sleep a lot. It’ll be okay. Is it strange that I want to go listen to Joan Baez singing “We Shall Overcome” at this junction?

JohnOfJordan: Emo or not? Please discuss (with examples).

Recently there was a YouTube Gathering in Noosaville. I was unable to be there in person, though I was in spirit and (as this video can attest) as a subject of conversation. At times there was even a live feed from the event via Stickam. A woman I had never met before appeared on camera and said, “Oh so this is the JohnOfJordan I’ve been hearing so much about? Where’s my [JohnOfJordan] t-shirt biatch?” It was hilarious!

Pauly sent this video to me. It is a discussion between Pauly and Choppa debating whether or not I am “emo.”

Pauly makes some interesting points. Its true, since I’ve become a YouTube Partner my videos have changed considerably. Perhaps I am more happy in them. Certainly recent projects, such as the birthday videos to Davey and Mitto, have been a real labour of love. The FiveDrunkenOuttakes video was fun to make – indeed, outtakes are always hilarious.

The truth is a lot has changed in my life recently and I guess, inevitably, that is reflected in some largely unconscious ways in the quality of my videos. Even getting my hair cut had an impact. I’m not going to pretend I am now happy all the time, but I think my motivations for making videos have changed. It used to be that when I felt unhappy I had this great need to share my pain with the world. In part, because articulating the pain made it seem less intense in the moment. In part, because it was nice to know that there were people who cared.

Something to consider, I suppose.

Reading the comment on the video made it all worthwhile.

eldaveed (3 hours ago)
Awh Johny, that made me smile so much :)
Yeah, I was just studying some maths when you sent me this link. I will make you learn all my maths eventually!!
United and City are in direct competition, they also use opposite colours (well, considered opposite now, red and blue).
So what if I’m a clean person, I would have a field day in your room to be fair, wouldn’t I?
BLONDE HEDGEHOG FTW … just need to watch out for the cars :( Nice try with the hair anyway :)

Love ya Johny xxx <3

I also sent him a Manchester City towel with a special message on it. Gah, what am I going to do in the off season without my beloved CITY? lol

But yes, I couldn’t have said it better myself: BLONDE HEDGEHOG FTW!

This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. One of my most viewed videos of my early YouTube career was an offering titled, “Life, Death and Boxershorts.” It was an amusing collection of video clips from people I watched. Users like Marwade, JohnnyDurham19, Hotbananastud, Lonelygirll15 (note the two L’s), Lukettylwillie. Even TheHill88 made an appearance.

The title actually gave a pretty good indication of the themes. It shuffled between people talking about life and death, and finally, boxershorts. JohnnyDurham19 celebrated the virtues of Gap boxer shorts. Lukettylwillie admitted to only having a couple of pairs. Tripplehelix offered Lukettylwillie some support, “Nothing wrong with that – as long as they’re good!” This was followed up by HotBananaStud’s pants promptly ripping.

At the time, I was really impressed that such a chunk of my subscriptions were making allusions to the same subject matter.

The video is no longer available. I was concerned primarily that I didn’t have permission to use the footage from the various parties involved. Sourcing the videos, and editing them into one package was a very enjoyable process. It really spawned my love for editing. Something that – if I’m being completely honest – I enjoy much more than actually standing in front of a camera.

The technique was revisited later in another video. One which I’m still very proud of today, titled, “Everything’s Coming Up JOJ!” This time the video featured people talking about me, making reference to me. It might seem self-serving. But the truth is I would watch that video and feel a part of it all. Seeing and hearing my friends joke around with me seemed a much more real demonstration of “community” than the rhetoric that fills vlogs across that particular website.

Lately I have been struggling to make videos. I have more time than ever, and less inclination. I have become very uncomfortable being in front of a camera. I don’t know what to say. The time I used to prize in having this house to myself has become largely non-existent. I guess I need to just push myself through the lull and see what happens.

In an attempt to overcome this I had made a rather woeful vlog that I also used to make fun of the “Naked Vlog” phenomena.

While I struggled with making videos, I still missed the interaction the site has. I decided to make another “Involuntary Collab.” It wasn’t an easy process. I couldn’t convert a lot of the footage I wanted to use to a usable format. More troubling Sony Vegas Movie Studio had obvious ‘issues’ with the project, opting to crash continuously.

I am happy with the overall result though. I had genuinely forgotten that Junkienet had described me as someone “who is very special to Australian YouTube.” I had forgotten just how funny Bet0001970 could be.

JohnOfJordan: Yeah, the cattleprod was an interesting touch, but are you sure it matches your outfit?

Bet0001970: I prefer to think of it as a ‘behavioural adjustment device,’ and it’s black; everything goes with black.

Footage taken from original video “Sam I Am.”

The Chipmunk-esque performance of the theme song by RandomnessAzn cracked me up the first time I heard it. (This is the only piece of truly original footage used in the video.) Killert00thbrush talked about eating a battery at my request. JohnnyDurham19 described me as an “Australian videomaker.”

One thing I listened to with particular amusement were the comments of RoboFillet.

Also there are lots of other, shall we say, “smaller” Australian Youtubers of whom I only have time to mention one.

I was his first subscriber ever. He has since eclipsed me completely. Surely a testimony to his friendly quirky style – something I’ve been pimping since day one.