John Lacey
Ask A Different Question
I am writing this near the Nowra Public Wharf, beside the vast Shoalhaven River and with a keen view of the bridge that connects Bomaderry and North Nowra to Nowra itself; and indeed to the remainder of the coast further south. (I point this out since it will not be readily obvious when I return home to turn my hand written scribbles into typed words.)
This has become my ‘home away from home’ which was fortunate since the familiarity of my own home had been driving me nuts. Its a strange combination of nature and industrial influence. The river literally sparkles in the sunlight everywhere but under the bridge itself and where trees close to the bank replace sun with shadow.
A lone Willie Wagtail performs acrobatic wonders before me, darting in and out of a deciduous tree. And now he or she is joined by a mate who seems to mirror the moves of the first, almost in some sort of ‘visual’ equivalent to a jazz trumpet call and response routine. The perfect accompaniment to Nina Simone’s “I Put A Spell On You” (the song currently playing on my iPod shuffle.)
It seems strange to feel so peaceful this close to a busy highway. For a time I had thought it might’ve been reassuring to know that civilisation wasn’t too far away. Today, however, I have reached a very different conclusion. What I really derive peace from is knowing that the Rat Race is over there and that I am no longer a part of it.
While the more responsible people of the world have been rushing to meet deadlines and bill payments, I have been basking in the sun. (I have long neglected my body’s Vitamin D requirements!) I have polished off the first five chapters of John A. Keel’s quest for Oriental magic, Jadoo. And I’ve been impressed by inspired performances from the likes of Jamie Cullum, Rickie Lee Jones, Carole King, Chet Baker and Miles Davis.
For me, personally, the question is no longer ‘When will I return to the workforce?’ but rather, ‘Do I really want to?’
The concept of the Rat Race is not a new one. While I did find myself waking up routinely at 5am, and sometimes working on unfinished projects until the early morning, it wasn’t the time demands that bothered me the most about my previous job. Rather, it was the mental demands. The truth was (whether intended or not) my workplace yielded an unprecedented assault on my psyche. Every moment of everyday my thoughts were purely work-centric. Even my dreams became a subconscious ‘playground’ for business ideas and concepts. I had, it seemed, surrendered all mental autonomy.
The constraints of no obvious source of income are fairly self-evident. I have been attempting to flesh out a business idea of my own, though have been frustrated by the obstacles I encounter. I can’t find a publisher who will produce what I envisage. I am presented with alternatives though I remain unconvinced that sufficient demand exists these alternatives. My dual desires to create a high quality product and keep overheads low are, predictability, at odds with each other.
Many of my friends seem to exist in a slightly different reality to myself. Most of them are students. (Indeed for most of them the most pressing need they have currently is finding a way to afford the new iPhone when it comes out.) Steve (QiRanger) suggested I get out and see the world. The idea didn’t instantly resonate with me. So I asked myself a slightly different question. Indeed a question I’ve asked myself many times before.
WHAT WOULD KEEL DO?
That’s essentially why I’m here, pouring over his first book; looking for inspiration, ideas and reassurance. I find it comforting to know my idol has been broke, lonely, and - incredibly enough - even terrified of the spectre of a blank page.
My typewriter collected dust in my hotel room. A few times I shoved a piece of paper into it, but a blank sheet of paper is a frightening, disheartening thing to a would-be writer. I always slapped the cover shut with the paper still blank.
- John A. Keel, Jadoo (”Broke In Baghdad”, pgs 77-78)
Four pelicans just flew over my head in a sort of V-shaped formation.
I guess I best get back to this book…
Ah, one of my favorite things is to grab a book and sit by something natural and let everything sink in. I can relate to the wharf/freeway thing, as I have some lovely temples and parks right in the big city.
You may never want to return to the work force, but I found myself wanting more IRL contact, since most of my business was conducted online.
I still think a trip would do you good. Not necessarily a world wide adventure, but at least a weekend get away to someplace new to put the distractions of everyday life away.