A Little Drop of Poison

By John Lacey on February 10th, 2008

People are frustrated that they can’t “reach” me. I am annoyed that I still feel ‘this’ way. Even after the months and the realisations and the realities of situations. The truth is an increasing number of people are losing patience with me as I explain that I am feeling unappreciated and insignificance WHILE they are trying to reach out to me. I appreciate the insanity of the situation. I feel as though I am failing them by not being more receptive.

I don’t want to bother anyone. I don’t want to burden anyone. And the only way I know how to do that is to leave. Because I can’t change how I feel. I feel as though I am dying, and I secretly hope the process would reach its completion.

And there are people who I feel as though I need. And they are nowhere to be seen. I am caught between sending them messages that say, “Where are you? I need you,” and convincing myself that they actually owe me nothing at all and that I’m not significant enough to keep in touch with anyway.

I need some sleep
you can’t go on like this
I tried counting sheep
But there’s one I always miss
Everyone says
I’m getting down too long
Everyone says
you’ve just gotta let it go
you’ve just gotta let it go
you’ve just gotta let it go…

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Categories: Personal Universe
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